"You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to. "
- Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting, 1997
As you already know, Robin Williams hanged himself. Sadly, he ended his life, the life that maybe most of us dream of having, who doesn't like to be as talented as him and to be loved by everyone in the world but ironically feeling lonely as hell. I was devastated when I heard the news. I grew up with his movies, he was truly my idol, my main motivation to be fearless and to follow my dreams.
I connect to him a lot, I am surrounded by so many friends in my life but to be honest, I am lonely. I can openly say that there's no one single person that I would share everything in my life, someone with whom I can experience life with, share my life with...that's how I decided to become a writer, I used to write on papers to express my feelings, to share my feelings with a piece of paper, I just needed to get it out of my mind. It wasn't enough though! I started creating characters and express my feelings through stories and my characters, it indeed calmed me down, I ended stories the way I wanted not how it happened in real life, it pleased me.
They say that you need to be comfortable being all by yourself and true happiness is within you. It's true! You cannot depend on somebody else to conquer that, it's as simple as that and yet it's the hardest thing to do. It will hit you hard so many times when you're feeling low and you need someone by your side, feel someone's existence that you're not alone. Not everyone can find him/her, if you already have that person in your life, you are on of the luckiest people on earth.
The key is to love yourself. You need to value yourself, it was one of the biggest challenges of my life to love myself. ( I will talk more about how to love yourself later.) You need to realize that it's not an easy task just to love who you are when you know that you don't! It takes practice and experience and it takes a lot of effort to get there! It's even harder for those who put themselves last in every situation!
The easiest temporary solution to forget the whole subject is drinking and using drugs. Who doesn't like not thinking about reality for a while? The question is, then what? are the problems really gone? you're back to reality before you know it ...BAM!!! it hits you again and that's how you become an alcoholic or drug addict. I'm not saying everyone turns into an alcoholic because of this reason. I'm saying that it's a damn good reason to become one without realizing it! You can use all the existing distractions all your life not to focus on yourself and keep fooling yourself.
You have two choices, whether start loving who you are, improving yourself, and losing a lot of weight off of your shoulder and feeling lighter or let it stick around for years until you hate yourself until you decide to end your life regardless whose life you're affecting after you're gone. Maybe you think nobody cares about you but your existence still affects someone else's without you knowing it. Please note that I'm not judging Robin Williams, I can't even imagine
what it feels like to be that depressed to commit suicide. This article is about loving yourself and choosing the right path and if ever you experience being out of control, you need to seek professional help. Always remember that
Life is too short to end it!
“ You need to truly have life experience to understand what
life fully has to offer. You can’t learn everything from reading it in
books. You need to feel life. You need to feel the sun on your face, and
experience relationships. get out there and live your life! You need to
make mistakes, you need to get dirty, you need to meet new people!
don’t live behind your books, or your school work. those things are
great, but there is only so much you can learn inside of 4 walls. go out
there and live your life!”
– Robin Williams
Sometimes,
some words slip out of our mouths and it's too late to undo what
we said. It's normal that we show reactions when someone triggers us and
we get offended. Usually, we try to defend ourselves by hurting the
other person back without processing
what is happening at that moment. The question is Why shut up when it feels good to let it out? Because
we feel like crap afterwards and wish we behaved differently. It's similar to craving for junk food, love eating every moment of it but feeling ashamed
after. Sounds familiar? 
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